Ambition is hard to find and difficult to sustain. I have had bouts of ambition and times where I felt like I could clearly see what was ahead of me and what needed to be done, but at other times I feel that all that is ahead of me is black.
Black is different than dark. Black encompasses everything. It is a mix of all colors, all people, all things. It’s a symbol of power and elegance, but it is also a color of death and mystery.
I don’t equate “black” with “bad”. In order to grow, we need a mix of all things. Ambition is required to travel down the path that appears to be unfriendly. Maybe we can be the ones to change it for others so that the way can be lit.
I feel that I am on a different path that no one close to me has been on. My wife is 18, we’re already planning on getting a second car, we’re working two different jobs, and I haven’t finished schooling. I want to be an author. I want to be creative. I want to write for the sake of writing, and the blog has been a big part of that.
Can I support a family off of just writing? I want to do it. Can I work from home and spend time with my lovely wife and future children? I plan on it.
I need ambition and I need to be brave. I have to be willing to fight for what I want, and at times it is hard to convince others that I know what I am doing and that things will work out.
Mostly, I want God to say “I know your desires and will help you to achieve those desires.” I want Him to be proud of what I do, even if others say that it is not enough. I want to be a good husband to my wife, and I want to provide for her needs so that she need not worry.
I promise to be ambitious. I promise to be brave. I promise to forge ever onward, even if the way ahead (for the moment) may seem black.