The Struggle Is Real

WOW! I haven’t talked in awhile! I’ve missed it! My busy schedule has prevented me from having time for anything except work and school for the past month or so. This past week, I was able to talk to my supervisor and am now only working 30 hours per week instead of 40. I know it doesn’t sound like a big difference but it’s a huge blessing. 

While I was in my D&C class this morning, my teacher started talking about how today’s society is afraid of talking about what temptations they face. We discussed recent talks that were given in General Conference and how the apostles were clarifying that there isn’t anything wrong with being tempted. We went on to talk about how when we give into temptation, we need to work to be worthy again but our worth is still intact.  

Obviously this blew my mind a little or I wouldn’t be writing about it. I sat there thinking about a recent experience I had with Sappy and the embarrassment I had felt.

Because of my schedule change, I am home alone a whole lot more than before.  During that time alone, I was watching Netflix to wind down for the day. All of a sudden, a temptation to look up inappropriate things popped into my head. I was shocked at first; I haven’t had a temptation like this in a while. I haven’t given into anything like this in even longer. Why was this popping into my head now?

I didn’t think about how every single person on the planet with access to internet has had this temptation before. I only thought about how I needed to be better. Later, when Sappy got home, I sheepishly told him what I had been tempted with. He responded with love and a ‘you did nothing wrong, silly’ kind of attitude. Even with that response, I felt like I HAD done something wrong.

The next day in my D&C class was when we talked about temptation. D&C 20:22 states, “[Jesus Christ] suffered temptations BUT gave no heed unto them.” I added the emphasis to make a point. Christ was perfect! Yet he still was tempted. Being tempted isn’t the problem; there is nothing wrong with it. I realized through that scripture and my class discussion that I WAS being silly like Sappy said. 

Lesson #2 that I learned from this experience was that talking about it is good! Letting my spouse know what I am struggling with, whether brief or over a long period of time, is amazing! How can he help me if I don’t tell him? Sappy can’t read my thoughts. He is there to support me and strengthen be, how can he if I don’t let him? 

Sappy has been very open with what he struggles with and sometimes I can be closed off about this stuff. I thought it was embarrassing. Why would I want to talk about it. I realized through paying attention in class and reading my scriptures, that I was being a lil’ prideful and ridiculous.

Later that night, I called my mom to get advice on how to deal with a different issue that is tempting me in a completely different way. She was able to give me insight that only someone who has a few years of marriage on their belt can give me. Because I was able to share my struggles, I am now able to begin working through it where as before I was stuck. 

Moral of the novel: don’t be afraid to talk about temptation! Strengthen yourself and others by sharing your struggles. Being clammed up and closed off isn’t going to get anyone anywhere. 

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