Hey! We decided to resume our blog after the honeymoon with a little snip-it of what we have learned these past three weeks as a married couple. I decided to go first and share my insight before Sappy.
The biggest thing that I learned was and is finding balance. Before we got married, my mom gave me and Sappy a book called “And They Were Not Ashamed” which talks about finding balance physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Right from the start this was one of the biggest struggles for me to understand. Because the physical was new and not off limits anymore, it had a tendency to take over and we wouldn’t think about incorporating the emotional and spiritual aspects in order to feel harmonious. There would be days were I would randomly feel the need to cuddle, talk or wouldn’t want any affection besides little things like holding hands. If I didn’t communicate this with Sappy, I would feel myself growing distant and moody. This in turn would make him upset because he couldn’t figure out what was wrong and why I was always getting upset. Once we sat down, talked, and came to a common understanding, things would be great again. Until the next time I didn’t let Sappy know what I needed.
I have had to learn that the emotional side of our marriage is just as important as the physical; if not more. We need to let each other know what we need or feel in order for things to run smoothly. Being able to connect physically without feeling the emotional connection is unfulfilling and empty. When I feel empty, I find that I don’t want to connect spiritually either.
After the first week we realized that we needed to focus on balancing a little more and I needed to work on being more open with my more sensitive needs. As we started to work on these things, we were able to feel more at peace and love more freely.
As we continue to work things out, understand each other more, and learn new things, I can feel myself love Sappy more and more. I am more than excited to see where we will be one year, then five, and then fifty years from now. We have already learned so much and I look forward to gaining even more knowledge over the years!
Being married to Salty has been a wonderful experience and I am very optimistic about our future together as we are continuing to communicate our needs and hopes to each other. There have been times when one of us has kept something in our mind and let it stew around instead of spitting it out, but thankfully the thoughts were never there long enough to become cankerous. Instead we have plucked up the courage to say what is on our mind so that we can either move on or decide if the issue needs to be addressed further. Communication in these first few weeks has been key in keeping us in harmony, and I am grateful for the example that Salty set in the first few weeks of our dating with communicating clearly.
One blessing that I would like to address is the fact that Salty and I think differently about love and how we keep each other balanced. If we were both all physical, or both all emotional, or both all spiritual, our relationship would be very shaky. Instead, we seem to compliment the other in these categories and are able to grow together, learning new things because we want to see what the other one sees. I love trying to see the world through Salty’s eyes because it gives me a fresh perspective on life, and it helps me to understand how one-sided mine can be. If you are in a relationship right now whether boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, make sure that you always bounce ideas off each other. This will help the result to be more reasonable, and the power of two minds in harmony is always better than one.
I think that Salty has already gone over a lot of what I wanted to talk about today, so I’ll just keep my section simple. Salty and I think differently, we talk differently, and we even walk differently. While we are not the same in many ways, we find balance in the middle and learn to listen for God’s voice in our marriage instead of relying on our own.
The biggest thing that I have learned from our marriage is that compromise isn’t the sacrifice of one’s opinion. It is the act of finding the point where two become one.