Hey faithful readers! Another Sunday has come so another post will follow. Sappy and I have decided to talk about differences and how they affect relationships. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “We were just too different!” While this might be a valid reason for some, if it was for us, we wouldn’t be dating.
Salty and I grew up very differently. I was born in a small home with half an acre of land but eventually moved with my family into the suburbs, where I grew to love a city environment. Salty was raised in a small town until her family moved into an apartment and later into a small home with property. I was brought up to love Broadway musicals and the arts, while Salty grew up around sports and country music. I grew up with 2 siblings, she grew up with five. The list goes on for a while riddled with differences in food, movie taste, and relationship experience.
He forgot to mention a HUGE one; we are also six years apart! This means we are at different phases in life and he has had far more time to experience things and grow from them. Ok, you guys get the point. We are different in some big ways and some not so big ways. The reason we still work and can over look the fact that we were raised and are so different is because our fundamental beliefs are the same. I don’t only mean that we are both LDS, I also mean that we look at families the same, view finances similarly, open minded when it comes to new things, and we are both very hard and dedicated workers.
Our differences bring us together, as they should for you. It is the differences that force us to talk to each other, to work things out, and decide what our opinion will be together. Sometimes we won’t budge on issues unless they seem to be pulling us apart, at which time we seek to understand the other person and find it in ourselves to make a compromise. Compromising doesn’t mean that you have to give up what you want completely; you just have to be willing to pick apart the problem, find what you both agree on, and then build the problem back up with a solution that you came up with as a couple. This can sometimes take hours, or even days of discussion. In the end though, you will become more united in purpose and in heart, and your differences will become a part of who you both are.
A semi big problem that we worked through was technology and how we should use it while we are together. Sappy has a smart phone but I don’t; I have a prehistoric slide phone and a computer. In the beginning of the relationship, Sappy and I were pretty good about being off technology and giving each other the attention we deserved. As time went on and we became more comfortable, he started pulling out his phone more and I began using my computer while he was around. It grew into an issue, I felt hurt that he was ignoring me and he got to the point where he asked if he should just go home. After a mini break down, we sat down and talked it over. We decided that unless we were sharing what we were viewing on the screen, looking up something important or talking to our parents, we needed to be off our technology.
Funny thing is, I was on my phone while Salty was writing up the blog post but she was OK with it because there was nothing for me to do. If we had been discussing the post together, bouncing ideas back and forth, then the phone would have been out of the picture. I love Salty, and I show my love by giving all of the attention I can to her, not to a screen that contains empty words and thoughts. Our relationship grows stronger everyday because of the time we spend together and the outward expressions of love we show. Giving up technology would have been hard for me in the beginning since I had spent most of my life centered around screens, but as soon as I made it a commitment to put Salty first, everything fell into place. Sacrifices are worth it, especially when they’re made to gain something better. Infinitely better.
Even with everything that is different about us, we are so strong. The things that are essential for our relationship are there and firm; all the other little details don’t matter. The diversity has made me watch a scary movie for the first time and him to listen to country music for the first time. We embrace the opportunity to branch out and it has been so fun. As long as the fundamentals are compatible and the sacrifices on the little things are worth it, date whoever you would freakin like. Don’t listen to anyone else telling you it would never work.