You Are NOT Alone

Last week I got knocked down. I was punched in the gut, shoved out the door, and it seemed like I had nowhere to go.

For a second, it was as if the world as I knew it was just a mirage and I was being played. The Truman Show.

It wasn’t a physical beating, but it felt like everything was going against Salty and me and I had no idea what I was going to do. Fine, I’ll get to the point.

On the 4th of May, I got back from my job at the MTC and looked at my gmail account to see if I had any important notifications in my inbox. I had one new message from BYU, and I felt my heart drop as the e-mail told me to check my BYU message board to look at my updated student status. I knew what it would contain. My dismissal.

Rewind to freshman year, the summer of 2012. I graduated from Shasta High School with a 3.4 GPA and 30 ACT, and I had been accepted to BYU. I decided to go away from home during the summer to take classes before the fall semester, but little did I know how different college courses would be from high school classes. I didn’t know what major I wanted to go into but felt like I should going into something based in science or math, so I took Trig/Pre-calc and Computer Science assuming that I would be able to pass with flying colors. Well, I didn’t. For my first term at BYU, I received a 0.5 GPA and I didn’t know what to do.

By my third semester at BYU, I had a 1.8 GPA and got suspended for a year. I went on my mission during that time, and when I came back I felt like I had everything together and switched my major to Advertising. I got a 4.0 and then a 3.8, but my overall grade was still sitting at a 2.08. Then, I took a hit and started sliding down a slope that just kept going. 

Fast forward to last semester when I met Salty. I spent every moment of everyday building my relationship with her, and I felt like everything was working out really well. In my mind, relationships always come first and school comes second. It’s just how I’ve always thought. Needless to say, my grades were abysmal (barely scraping a 1.8) and I got dismissed from BYU.

The notice meant that I wouldn’t have a job at the MTC anymore. It meant that I wouldn’t be schooling at the University where my parents met, or where my grandparents met, or where my fiancee is going. It meant that I was alone in this venture (in part, not completely) and I would have to find a new way to have success. For a split second I felt like I had nowhere to go, but then I remembered my family, my friends, God above, and my loving fiancee. God had put everything there in front of me to help me get through this, and I told myself that I would not give up.

One week later, I feel at peace with myself and things are going to work out for the better. I’m getting a job at Five Guys where I’ll be welcomed by old friends. I have a fiancee who loves me and cares for me when I can’t do so for myself, I have a family who supports me and who wants me to succeed, and I have a Father above who sees my future and will lead me in the right way.

Life is difficult. It is meant to be that way. If it wasn’t, there would be no way for us to learn and grow. We need to stretch and reach higher instead of being OK with where we are. It is not enough to be complacent: we need to strive for greatness.

May God be with you all in this upcoming week. May he uplift the hands that hang down, and may you be carried along by angels who attend you. May you be filled with joy and the knowledge that He has not forsaken you, and that there are always better things to look forward to.

I know that my life is good. It’s crazy how blessed I am. Sometimes I feel like life is too much for me to handle; but when I kneel to pray, God is there, and so is everyone else.

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