Myth: Find Your Perfect Man!

Aaaaalright. My turn. I have been thinking for a little bit about what I wanted my first ‘just me post’ to be about and I came up with the idea to go with, “Get yourself a guy who…” I sat there thinking about all the things that Sappy does and has done for me. I thought about how much he spoils me with the little things and how much I appreciate everything he does for me. BUT THEN, I remembered that he DIDN’T USE TO DO THOSE THINGS! It totally changed my perspective and I realized how much he and I have changed.

Originally I was going to brag about all the amazing things sappy does for me. For example say, “Get yourself a man who does the dishes for you,” or opens the door for you, or holds you when you feel like your world is crashing down. But he wasn’t even close to being like this in the beginning. He didn’t open the door, he rarely randomly called me beautiful, he never bought me my favorite food on a whim; those were things he learned along the way.

In the beginning of our relationship, I asked him why he didn’t open my door. It was something I had always watched my parents do and I loved it when guys had done that in the past. It was a simple and cute gesture that, for me, showed a lot of love. We discussed how he felt about it now and if that was something he could start doing. There were valid reasons explaining why it wasn’t something he started doing in the beginning, but once I made it clear how I felt, he put in the effort to include it in our daily lives.

The reason I bring that example to light is because WE HAD TO WORK TO BE WHERE WE ARE NOW. There are no perfect guys or girls out there. A lot of the things I love and adore about Sappy are things he has learned over time. “Now, just one word to those of our single brethren who follow the deception that they first have to find the “perfect woman” before they can enter into serious courting or marriage. My beloved brethren, may I remind you, if there were a perfect woman, do you really think she would be that interested in you?” Stated Dieter F. Uchtdorf in “In Praise of Those Who Saved.” I believe this applies to both girls and guys. If you are waiting for the perfect man to walk into your life, sweep you off your feet, buy you gifts, and woo you, you will probably be single for a long, long time. If I had been waiting for that when Sappy rolled around, I wouldn’t have talked to him and we wouldn’t be here.

There is one thing that I think is a necessity in every relationship, one thing that you shouldn’t settle for, one thing that can’t be left out: communication. If communication is a cornerstone of a relationship, you will be able to work things out and let the other person know how to keep you happy. Have an issue? Tell them how you feel in a respectful and open way. Don’t come out attacking, don’t come out blaming, don’t cut your significant other down, don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want done to yourself. Many people forget this and talk or act in anger. We have too, but afterwards we always humble ourselves and work to help the other person through the hard parts instead of just ourselves. Focus on this and all the other bonus stuff will follow. I promise!

EVEN WITH solid communication, we have had many lows and many little issues and problems we have needed to solve. It isn’t an end all, solve all. It doesn’t make everything magically go smoothly and perfectly. However, in order to move forward, you can’t ignore the matter. Talking it out is the key to a happy, healthy, successful, etc, relationship. Try it out! Let me know what advice you would give about this matter!


Salty to the T!

2 thoughts on “Myth: Find Your Perfect Man!

  1. Super fun blog to read!!! It will be fun to see how things change and mature over time. May I make one little addition? Commitment!!!! Communication evolves and changes over time. You will find periods that you communicate well and others where you don’t. But commitment should never change!!! Commitment to the Savior, your covenants, and each other. Then, everything else can be worked out. Love you guys!


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