TLDR: We went a week without kissing, and our relationship grew because of it.
It took a little time for Kaela and I to get used to each other after we went to “walk and talk.” Like, it took a day and then we were already talking to each other for 6-10 hours straight each day. I was going to school and had classes to go to, but whenever I finished I would go straight to Kaela’s apartment to talk because I longed for familiarity. The more we talked, the more I felt like we were best friends.
By the first week we had talked at least 50 hours and knew our likes and dislikes for the most part. We started planning things to do for the next week, and Salty and I came up with a system for planning events in future weeks. She would take one week, I would take the next, and we would continue to alternate as time went on so that we could continue to have new ideas for things to do. We went on a lot of dates (to be explained later: we’ll have tips and ideas for fun dates for those of you readers who are interested) that were each different from the last, and with each new one I felt like I had finally found the girl I would marry. I voiced my opinion to Salty, and she said we should give it time.
One thing you should know before I go on is that it only took 1.5 months for me to decide that I was ready to marry her. Another thing you should know is that she was (and still is) 17 while I am 23, so it took a while (yeah, 1.5 months is a good enough while) for me to get used to the concept that we are 6 years apart. After I got past this hurdle, I was ready to go all in. I started to look at engagement rings without Salty looking at them, and while she knew I was browsing through selections of rings, I don’t think she knew how serious I was about it all.
Towards the end of the 7th week, we were kissing longer than was needed and felt like we couldn’t tell where the line was drawn between the emotional and physical part of our relationship. After a little thought and prayer, Salty approached me and said that we needed to go a full week without kissing. The rules were “Nothing except for holding hands and hugging.” I was pretty bummed out at first, but I could tell that it meant a lot to her so I said I would go through with it.
So that’s what we did. A week with no kissing. The first few days were really, really tough to get through because we had made it a habit to kiss pretty often. The hardest part of each day was recognizing that I wanted to kiss Salty but couldn’t. It took a great deal of control for me to say good morning, goodnight, and goodbye without a kiss, and throughout each day I would find myself going in for a kiss without realizing it. It had become such a normal thing for me to do, and I finally understood that it wasn’t really anything special anymore because it was all on impulse. Towards the end of the week, I finally started to understand that I had way more control than I originally thought and that I had been giving in to my subconscious way too easily.
At the end of the week I felt a lot closer to Salty than before. Instead of a kiss, I was filling our conversations with words of affirmation. I was complimenting her a lot more, and I could see that she was positively glowing from the amount of love that I was giving her. My love was no longer something physical, it was deep, emotional, something that pierced the soul and left a lasting impact instead of colliding against the surface of skin, only to leave and be forgotten. It was after the week of no kissing that I started to truly understand how madly in love I was with her. I didn’t need any physical affection to feel close, I just needed her.
At a time when we felt our relationship was dying out, we decided to take away the physical part and focus on what mattered most. Each other, and how we felt. It’s important to build a strong emotional bond with the one you love, and Salty and I decided that it wasn’t touch, lips, or teeth that mattered, but the heart.
Salty, I love you. I love your spirit, and I love your capacity to love. You are my angel. To those who want a loving relationship, try to go a week without kissing. At the end, talk about your feelings together and see what happens from it. I promise that your love for each other will expand and grow in ways that you could never imagine.